Pubblicato il di biancaritacataldi

5 cose da fare prima di iniziare una nuova relazione

Ognuno di noi si è trovato, almeno una volta nella vita, nella posizione di colui che ha provocato o ha subito la rottura di una relazione sentimentale.

Nessuna tragedia, come ben sappiamo. Si riprende a guardare al futuro e, soprattutto, a guardarsi intorno. Eppure, poiché l’esperienza è maestra, penso che ci siano cinque azioni da compiere o, meglio, cinque stadi da vivere prima di sentirsi completamente pronti per una nuova relazione.

Voi che ne pensate? Quali aggiungereste e/o eliminereste da questa lista?


1) Riappropriarsi delle proprie passioni

Può sembrare una banalità eppure, ogni volta che veniamo fuori da una relazione, ci rendiamo conto che sono molte le parti di noi che abbiamo trascurato per amore della coppia e, molto spesso, del quieto vivere. Magari siamo appassionati di film horror ma sono anni che non andiamo al cinema per vederne uno perché il nostro compagno li detestava.

Oppure amiamo passeggiare nei boschi e concederci vacanze rilassanti in montagna, mentre il nostro compagno preferiva il mare e spesso abbiamo ceduto per raggiungere un compromesso. Ecco, questo è il momento giusto per riappropriarsi delle proprie passioni. E questo ci porta direttamente al punto 2.

2) Fare qualcosa da soli

Le relazioni più o meno lunghe ci abituano a passare molto tempo in compagnia di un’altra persona. In questa fase di stallo, invece, è decisamente utile fare qualcosa in compagnia solamente di se stessi. Credetemi, non è affatto noioso come sembra.

Andate in un bar, prendete un caffè e sorseggiatelo con calma leggendo un buon libro. Oppure salite in macchina e fatevi guidare dal vostro istinto in una città vicina alla vostra che non visitate da troppo tempo. Andate al cinema da soli, fate shopping da soli, concedetevi del tempo solo per voi. E questo ci porta al punto 3.

3) Fare un viaggio da soli

Lo so, sono abituata a tutte le controindicazioni che già vi si stanno affacciando alla mente in questo momento: è pericoloso, è noioso, non si può fare turismo quando si è da soli ecc. Beh, nessuna di queste motivazioni è valida. Ho viaggiato molte volte da sola e, fermo restando che bisogna sempre tenere gli occhi aperti e non fidarsi di nessuno, comunque la “pericolosità” non mi è sembrata eccessiva solo perché non avevo nessuno a farmi compagnia.

Viaggiare da soli apre la mente, rilassa il corpo, ci fa conoscere moltissima gente nuova e ci permette di scendere a patti con noi stessi e con ciò che non va nella nostra vita. Ricordate: stiamo parlando di cinque tappe fondamentali per potersi sentire pronti per affrontare una nuova relazione. Il che significa che dobbiamo fare un lavoro su noi stessi. E da qui arriviamo al punto 4.

4) Stilare una lista degli errori da non ripetere

Prendetevi un pomeriggio di riflessione, preparatevi una tisana e mettetevi tranquilli con una sigaretta tra le labbra (ma anche senza, eh?). Anche se all’inizio sarà un processo doloroso, provate a tornare indietro con la mente alla vostra ultima relazione e chiedetevi cos’è che è andato irrimediabilmente storto. Poi, compilate una lista degli errori da non ripetere nella prossima relazione. Non avete idea di quante cose scoprirete su voi stessi e sul vostro modo di vivere il rapporto di coppia!

5) Parlare con gli amici

Confidatevi. Confidatevi. Confidatevi. Gli amici esistono anche per questo, per starci accanto nei momenti difficili, e il periodo che segue una rottura è senz’altro un momento difficile. Per cui, prendete il vostro tempo, concedetevi un periodo di dolore e di riflessione. Non vergognatevi di parlare con i vostri amici, non nascondete ciò che provate. Vi ridono in faccia? Vi dicono di smetterla con le vostre paturnie? Beh, non sono veri amici. Un problema in meno da risolvere.

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94 risposte a “5 cose da fare prima di iniziare una nuova relazione”

  1. Ho letto con attenzione è punto per punto i tuoi consigli ecco sono d’accordo su,quasi tutti i 5punti, ma credo che prima ancora di arrivare a questi punti si debba provare a salvare la relazione parlarne confrontarsi è se c’è ancora amore provare a sistemare le cose .. Io sono del parere che in una coppia non deve mai mancare il dialogo che sia in positivo ho in negativo bisogna parlare, sia per salvare una relazione ( se si può salvare) sia se la relazione non va perché è fondamentale in entrambi i casi nel secondo in particolare è per non far del male alla persona che si è amati! Io penso che dopo la fine di una relazione oltre a far viaggi a far un riepilogo della storia è capire dove si è sbagliato per non sbagliare più ecco bisogna sopratutto ritrovare se stessi è questo lo si fa in un unico modo ed è quello di ascoltare sempre il proprio cuore si parlare anzi confidarsi con gli amici è giusto anzi giustissimo loro possono consigliarti aiutarti ma ciò che conta alla fine è sempre quello che si a dentro quello che dice il cuore è credo che la cosa che più di tutto può aiutare a ritrovare se stessi dopo la una realzzione non finita bene è ascoltare sempre il cuore ?

  2. Verissimo! Diciamo che questi sono consigli per quando DAVVERO non c’è più niente da fare, il che purtroppo a volte capita 😉

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